Your wedding day is a magical day filled with countless special moments that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. However, there’s one extra special moment in which everything else around you fades away and suddenly, nothing else matters but the love you share with your partner. It’s the few minutes you get to declare your love for each other by saying your vows, with the world as your witness. If you and your fiance have decided to give the traditional vows a skip and to rather personalise them by writing your own, here are 5 tips for writing your own wedding vows.
1. Decide on a structure and tone with your finance
If you’ve decided on writing your vows separately, it’s important to agree on a structure and to use it as a guideline so that you don’t end up with completely different feels. If you’re promising to stay true to your husband through sickness and in health and he’s promising to occasionally let you hold the TV remote, you’ve completely missed each other. For example, you could agree on using ‘I promise..” to start off each sentence, to include a little bit of humour, to share some memories and to end off with a quote on why you love each other.
2. Do research for inspiration
There are countless examples online for you to go through for some inspiration. Start by looking at a few traditional ‘by the book’ vows based on your religion and if you’d like to, incorporate a few lines or give it a completely new take by writing them in your own words. Don’t feel bad to borrow freely from books, movies, quotes etc. Keep searching until you’ve found something that resonates with you and certainly don’t feel bad for ‘stealing’ a few lines from others, but rather see it as borrowing some wisdom from those that have gone before us.
3. Start sooner than later
With the chaos of securing a venue and catering, sending out invites, getting your wedding outfits and so on, it’s easy to lose yourself in the midst of it all and to postpone your wedding vow writing until the very last minute. To avoid this, write down a casual first draft without worrying whether it’s actually good or not. From there, you’ll have time to make edits where necessary and to rewrite a few phrases. You ultimately want your vows to be well thought out and to mean something special to your partner. You really don’t want to be scrambling around for things to say the day before your wedding! You definitely won’t be in the right space of mind.
4. Jot down a few points about your relationship
If you’re still not sure on where to start, start by reflecting on your relationship with your fiance. However long it may be, remember where it all began and how you first met. Think of everything you’ve been through together and why you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life together. Once you’ve done this, incorporate a few of your thoughts into your vows. Try asking yourself these questions:
- Where did you meet?
- How long have you been together?
- When did you first know that you were in love?
- How and when did you know that your fiance is the one?
- What does your future look like together?
- How has your life changed since your fiance walked into your life?
- What do you admire most about your fiance?
- What do you miss the most about your fiance when you’re apart?
- What makes you think of your fiance?
- How does your fiance make you feel?
- What do you want to accomplish together?
5. Final thoughts
We know that you think the world of your partner and could probably write an entire book declaring your love for him/her, but it’s not necessary to include absolutely everything. If you feel it might be too long, review it and leave a few things out. Keeping it no longer than 2 to 3 minutes is a good time. Remember that saying your wedding vows is ulitmately just about you and your partner. It’s a beautiful declaration of love and a moment that you’ll remember forever. If you want to be a cheesy romantic, then we give you full permission to do so, it’s your day! Lastly, practice your speech out loud! Even if you’re planning on having the copy in front of you on the day, it’s good to be prepared. We all know that nerves (and tears) can get the best of us.
Remember that at the end of the day you want to sound like you, so just say how you feel. With the help of these 5 tips, you’ll write the perfect wedding vows to share with your partner on your special day.